- Sofia Kowalski: [Abby March makes comment about how Sofia isn't a happy person and Abby thinks it's bad for baby Oliver] You know what I think? You're an idiot. And your son Petey... is a dipshit.
- Tom Reilly: He's paralyzed from the waist down!
- Sofia Kowalski: [with a satisfied smile] Not completely!
- Bob Kowalski: [burns his hand on lamp] Fuck!
- Tom Reilly: Are you okay?
- Bob Kowalski: That lamp is hotter than shit!
- Tom Reilly: Market penetration strategy. Something that's very important to today's youth market: penetration.