2012 (I) (2009)

Oliver Platt: Carl Anheuser

Photos 

Quotes 

• Adrian Helmsley : Sir, you don't have the authority.

  Carl Anheuser : Who's got the authority? You? You've got the authority? You couldn't keep your goddamn mouth shut. You betrayed top-secret information last year. Could've had us all killed?

  Adrian Helmsley : What the hell are you talking about?

  Carl Anheuser : You told your father everything. Put this entire plan in jeopardy. Good thing for you the old man could keep his mouth shut better than you. Oh, come on. Don't look so shocked. We had to monitor everybody who knew. How do you think we kept it a secret for so long?

  Adrian Helmsley : So we just killed people who tried to talk?

  Carl Anheuser : Anybody who tried to talk was not just an enemy of the state, they're an enemy of humanity.

  Adrian Helmsley : The Director of the Louvre was an enemy of humanity?

  Carl Anheuser : After he called a press conference, he was! Jesus. What did you think? We're all just gonna get onboard, hold hands and sing "Kumbaya"? Sit down and buckle up.

• [Ark Computer: Impact warning. Thirty degrees west. Forty-five degrees east. Target elevation, 29,035 feet] 

  Carl Anheuser : 29,000 feet? What the hell is at 29,000 feet?

  Captain Michaels : We're headed straight for the north face of Mount Everest, Mr. Anheuser. And if we can't start our engines, we will not survive the impact.

• Laura Wilson : How were all these people chosen?

  Carl Anheuser : The same way your art was: By experts from all over the world. We had geneticists determine the perfect gene pool we need to repopulate.

  Adrian Helmsley : These people were chosen by geneticists?

  Laura Wilson : Looks to me like their checkbooks got them onboard.

  Carl Anheuser : That's right, Dr. Wilson. Without billions of dollars from the private sector, this entire operation would've been impossible.

  Adrian Helmsley : We sold tickets. And what about all these workers? They all get passes?

  Carl Anheuser : What, life isn't fair? Is that it? You want to donate your passes to a couple Chinese workers, you be my guest.

• Carl Anheuser : Kind of galling when you realize that nutbags with cardboard signs had it right the whole time.

• Carl Anheuser : [about Laura Wilson]  Cute girl, huh?

  Adrian Helmsley : Sir?

  Carl Anheuser : The First Daughter. I saw you looking at her.

  Adrian Helmsley : I wasn't looking at her.

  Carl Anheuser : Better move fast, kid. The end is near.

• Carl Anheuser : You're telling me that the North Pole is now some where in Wisconsin?

  Professor West : Actually, that's the South Pole now.

• Adrian Helmsley : Who are you bringing?

  Carl Anheuser : Nobody. Who, my ex-wife? Last thing she said to me, she never wanted to see me again. So be it.

• Adrian Helmsley : Satnam didn't get picked up.

  Professor West : What?

  Carl Anheuser : A lot of people didn't get picked up in this chaos. This is not a conspiracy, Helmsley. You're predictions haven't exactly panned out, have they, doctor?

• Carl Anheuser : Where the hell is President Wilson!

  Sally - President's Secretary : He's praying, sir, and under these circumstances that's not such a bad idea.

• Sally - President's Secretary : Sorry, sir. She insisted.

  [leaves afterward] 

  Laura Wilson : The Director of Louvre has just been killed. It's all over the news.

  [puts down newspaper and turns TV in room on with the news confirming what she had just explained] 

  President Thomas Wilson : [after the TV is back off]  Adrian, I don't think you met my daughter, have you?

  Adrian Helmsley : No, sir.

  Laura Wilson : We just talked. He said the organization I work for is a sham. How can he say something like that?

  Carl Anheuser : [to Adrian]  Come.

  [Carl and Adrian leave the room] 

  President Thomas Wilson : [after the door shuts after Adrian and leave]  Did I ever tell you that you are just like your mother when you get upset?

  Laura Wilson : Daddy, a man was just killed.

  President Thomas Wilson : Please, sit down. Only twelve people know what I am about to tell you.

  Laura Wilson : Daddy, what's going on?

  President Thomas Wilson : An international endeavour is under way, and 46 nations are currently invested in this thing.

• Carl Anheuser : What we need to do is focus on this timeline. That's what we need to do.

  Adrian Helmsley : When do we let the country know?

  Carl Anheuser : What do you mean?

  Adrian Helmsley : The people, sir. They need to know.

  Carl Anheuser : Well, of course they do. Listen, your job is to figure out when this is all going to fall apart. My job is to figure out how to retain some semblance of government after it falls apart. Until then, we don't have time for anything except for doing those jobs. Okay?