Dale Phillips - A Cheater & A Liar

The most hurtful event in my life was recently discovering that the love of my life has been secretly continuing a sexual relationship with a woman for 2 years behind my back. Me: Divorced 18 years, 11 years single and I am swept off my feet by a man that was still married, but separated. It took Dale 3 1/2 years to get his divorce due to financial troubles. Dale turned his back on his family to pursue a relationship with me. I loved him from first sight, but had resentment toward him because he was still married. This new relationship went against everything I ever thought was right from wrong. But...I was so happy with Dale in my life. Dale made me feel so beautiful, so wanted, and even adored. He was everything I had ever dreamed of in a boyfriend and he seemed to be my answer to prayers. He took away all the hurt from my failed marriage and I was happy for the first time in a long while. Dale became immersed into my life, my family and my business. Dale was my life. Dale needed me and I needed him. He was so jealous of me in the beginning of our relationship that it honestly scared me. People noticed and questioned his behavior...I always made excuses for him. He always showed anger toward anyone that came near me. Friends noticed and I continued to make excuses. I wanted everyone to love him. I hate to admit this, but oddly enough his jealousy was somewhat flattering. I'd never had a man be jealous of me before. Never. There are reminders of his temper as I look at the dents in my black metal front door. He always had anger in his heart. I never gave him reason to be this way. Then 4 years later...he had sex with an old high school friend. They found each other through Facebook and connected behind my back. Secrets...until her daughter reached out to me and said, "I think my mom is having sex with your boyfriend." Wow...that was a blow. This secrecy lasted several months before one day receiving that revealing Facebook message. God that hurt. How does someone that you are with everyday of your life go behind your back and see another woman during his working hours. I'm working, certainly not dreaming of cheating on him. The woman calls me directly to expose the details of this secret relationship. She cried. I consoled her. I was angry, but felt bad for her. I actually connected with her in a way that will never be forgotten, that's why I don't call her name here publicly. I know Dale lied to her about everything. I forgave all. Then, within a year, Dale cheated again...this time with a woman who will not accept that she is a mistake. She's different. She is the aggressor. She wants Dale. Her family wants Dale. Dale said it was just for sex. He called her crazy and unbalanced. Once again, I listened to his pleas for forgiveness and he cried and made a promise to never hurt me this way again. I once again forgave. Dale seemed to establish a pattern..he would cheat and then beg forgiveness, then proceeded to say this woman, Marlene Deslatte was crazy, unbalanced and just a fling. He assured me that Marlene meant nothing to him. In the meantime, Marlene has sent many hurtful text messages, along with her mother and sister...The text messages, phone calls and voicemails were horrible from these women. I've never been attacked like this before. I would fire back an occasional "bitch" or "whore" text, just to let her know I was with Dale. The heartache of a man I dearly loved cheating was enough for me to deal with...but this?? They claimed Dale was destined to be Marlene's next husband and I was in their way. Dale continued to state there was no need for concern and for me to ignore all messages and consider the source as crazy. I did as Dale asked. He had me block Marlene in every way that I could block her. He showed me that he also had her blocked. There was one problem....I later learned that he had her listed in his phone as a Uhaul dealer and not her real name. I had trusted his every word about this woman. Over a 2 year time frame, Dale kept meeting Marlene for secret lunches and sexual rendezvous...all while continuing to live a life with me. His Uhaul job gives way too much flexibility and opportunity for a cheating man...when he should be focused on his work. Our life continued with work, travel and family. I love Dale's Mother, his two Sons, his brother and sister in law and I fell in love with his (our) Grandson. There were family visits and holidays all spent together. I thought we were building a life together. We made so many memories. We made plans for a future filled with promise. I didn't know that behind my back there lurked such evil in the darkness. Marlene was using her body and her persuasions to convince Dale that her love was a "true love" and better than what I could offer or give. As for me...I was loyal and faithful all 6 1/2 years I shared in our relationship. Dale was my heart and soul. I gave all I had to support Dale. No, he didn't ask for me to buy his clothes, plan our travels and pay for almost 100% of all gifts given to his family...he never had to ask...I felt honored to do so because of my love for him. Marriage was in our future and there was nothing I did not think we could ever work through. No problem we couldn't face together...until Marlene. I felt the two women he had cheated on me with were mistakes as he had stated. At least the first woman had called to ask forgiveness. She never tried to harm me in any way like that of Marlene. Marlene is evil. She lurked in secrecy and darkness. The first woman was genuine in her request for forgiveness and her desire to see through Dales lies to her and learn more about me. Marlene is a big fool. One day she is going to reap what she has sowed. One day the pain is going to rush over her like a tidal wave. It's karma bitch. Karma is going to get you. The grief is unbearable, the lies unforgivable. I don't feel sorry for Dale. He wanted to live and take advantage of two caring women. No, I couldn't allow that to continue once the truth surfaced. I have been at peace with this loss, because what did I really have?? Dale couldn't have ever truly been in love with me. How could a man treat a woman with such disrespect? My love was pure, honest, and had no restrictions or boundaries. My love was lasting, unending and generous. My life is forever changed because of this event. My life is healthier without him in it. I believe in God's plan and know that one day this will all make sense. I wasn't the only person to be fooled by Dale. Others are now in the process of learning what I have known for quite some time. Liars and cheaters are just that...Leopards don't change their spots. There is always good which comes out of the pain...my reality is that through my relationship with Dale, I learned that I can love again after divorce. I have the capacity to truly fall in love and stay faithful to that one person. I will love again...someday. And when I do love again, I hope it is forever. 2019....The new year is only just a bit over 2 hours old and my mind is on the love I had for you. Although I've heard nothing from you since September 7th...I'm certain you think of me too. Marlene probably is smart enough to keep a constant check on your phone. I still have terrible feelings toward her. She will someday reap what she has sowed. It was surprising to me that you bought a house with her. You could never even qualify for a simple store credit card when we dated, so how did you qualify for a loan? None of that makes sense unless Marlene got a sizable divorce settlement. Well I've never even been curious enough to ride by your new address. I saw photos on the internet and I was sent your real estate contract. When I saw your signature with hers, well it changed me. It changed me forever. It hurt so deeply that it took away all curiosity. I hope 2019 will bring happiness to my life. You made a choice between two women. You picked her over me. I gave you 7 years of my life. I gave you my heart. My feelings for you were the most genuine gift I could ever offer to you. I wanted you in my life. I fell in love with you. I'm strong, but this time changed me. The love I developed for you made me a better person. What you did was wrong. You became a worse person when you met Marlene Deslatte. She did not make you a better man.