YOU

I thought I had finally found the one I have been waiting for. The one I wanted to love like no other. The one I wanted to spend the rest of my forever with. The one I wanted to take care of, make memories with, share a family with, be there to make bad days better & good days unforgettable. The one who I wanted to see walk through the door every evening when I had dinner ready & the one that cooked with me sometimes just for fun. The one who I could make the simplest things enjoyable with. The one I could count on. The one who had my back & I had his. My best friend. The one I could always laugh & joke with. The one who I could jump in the truck with to make his long boring drive go by faster. The one who I would love to work cattle with on a freezing day just so I could be near him and watch him doing what he loves. The one who I could saddle up horses & ride with & stop to make love with in the tall spring grass. The one who said he'd ride my roan filly and make her nice like the horse I found for him. The one who would take me trout fishing so we could have a picnic by the stream & carve our initials on an aspen tree & make more memories together in a mountain meadow. The one who would let me make a house our home. The one who would trust me to one day love his children as my own. The one who would plan family trips with me so we could all go see someplace new together. The one who is kind to my mother and sees the good in her on the days I want to strangle her. The one who knew how much it would mean to me when he helped me kill a buck, because God called my grandpa to heaven before we had a chance to do it together. The one who might help me fulfill my dream of having a tiny little mountain cabin to escape to some day before I die. The one who I would finally get to spend Christmas's with & who I would start new family traditions with. The one who would plan a road trip with me to show me the special places we talked about visiting together. The one I take care of when he's tired or sick & falls asleep with his head on my lap while I play with his hair. The one who would cuddle on the couch with me while watching tv and hold me in his arms as we slept at night. The one who would let me sleep in some mornings but wake me up early just to silently sit drinking coffee together to watch a beautiful sunrise. The one who plays with me in the snow, kisses me while we danced in the rain, & makes love to me on the beach. The one who giggled & joked with me while I cut & tried new styles on his pretty red hair. The one I would soak in hot bubble bath with after a cold day spent outside working together. The one who told me his deepest secrets and desires. The one who told me I was his angel & made me believe it. The one who did the little things just to see me smile. The one I could understand just by looking in his eyes without having to say a word. The one who I could be as passionate with or as hot & wild as I wanted without any fear of it ever becoming dull. The one I loved turning on & trying new things with. The one who I was completely comfortable with. The one who shared the same values and beliefs as I. The one I broke all my rules for because he swore he loves me like no other and that we would be us forever and always. The one who I wanted to give more love than I thought possible to & change his life and live it together with no regrets. The one who would be that crazy love story come true and come take me away. The only who told me he was different than all the others & had me convinced he was. The one that loved me so deeply that he did not care about what others thought but cared about a once in a lifetime love & trusted me to make it all worth it someday. The one who would help me prove that true love exists and when you find it it's worth risking everything for because it only comes along once in a lifetime. The one who believed in us & knew that together we would make it through anything. The one that means what he says & does what he says he'll do. The one who doesn't lie or keep secrets. The one I can depend on. The one who gets me & loves me for who I am. The one who would be proud to have me on his arm when we got dressed up for a special night out. The one I was saving sexy dresses for because it meant something to finally be able to wear them for him & be a couple together & not have to hide anymore. The one who said he would take me to my first MMA fight & that I would take to see Rodney Carrington. The one who said he'd go with me to have Sunday dinners & visits with Wendell. The one who I could just be me around in jeans and no makeup and messy hair and he still made me feel beautiful. The one who I would share my grandpas leather shop with because I knew he would appreciate it. The one who I would have been proud to have my grandfather meet. The one who would finally be my everything. The one I would grow old with. The one who would be there holding my hand and kiss my forehead on the day I took my last breath. That's what I saw in you. That's what has kept me holding on. That's who I fell in love with. That's who I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. I'm so sorry you will never get to see or feel how much I love I had to give you. I loved you more than I have ever found a way to say to you or ever got to show you, more than you can ever imagine baby...
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5mo
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It is hard sometimes. But if you really loved me the way you said you did, we would never be here in this situation. I wouldn't be alone here. You destroyed everything.