- Grinch: Who are you?
- Ukaraiah: *Ukariah* Who, sir.
- Grinch: You're a rather small Who, aren't you?
- Ukaraiah: Well, I do the best I can. Sir, are you really the Grinch?
- Grinch: Am I the Grinch?
- Ukaraiah: Sorry, sir, I have a slight astigmatism. An optical condition in which parallel rays of light from an external source converge or diverge unequally in different meridians.
- Grinch: It's a wonderful night for eyebrows. It's a wonderful night for teeth! It's a wonderful night for Grinch Night! Their troubles will now commence, oh I wouldn't stay home on a night like this for sixty dollars and sixty cents!
- Max: How many times have I said and said? How many times have I said in my head, "What am I doing here?" Why am I the slave of this grinchy old grock? And I say how I wish I could turn back the clock, and have the fine future I had once before, and again be an innocent puppy once more.
- Grinch: [tauntingly] In your puppy-house beddy with Sweet Aunt Woofy Wafoone, feeding you hominy grits with a big silver spoon?
- Max: What am I doing here? Doesn't matter much how but my dear old Auntie Woofie, wouldn't I fear, very much care for me now.
- Narrator: It was a glorious sunset, until, Old Josiah happened to sniff, and he whispered to his wife...
- Josiah: Mariah, will you also take a wiff?
- Narrator: And Josiah and Mariah doubled sniffed, and they said...
- Josiah, Mariah: I wonder if...
- Narrator: But they really didn't wonder, they knew it was terribly true, they knew that the sour-sweet wind was coming back, and what the sour-sweet wind would do.
- Grinch: [voice only, joining in a round sung by a chorus of spooks circling Ukaraiah] Ukaraiah, Ukaraiah, this is it! HA! This is it! HA! Grinch is gonna getcha, Grinch is gonna getcha! Nitzen-deef a-la! YA!
- Grinch: I'm sure gonna miss that Grinch Night Ball. But... that wind will be coming back someday. *I'll* be coming back... Someday...
- [laughs maniacally]
- Monsters: [singing] Oh I wouldn't step here And I wouldn't step there I would only step 'round with the greatest of care And it's hopeless to try to escape through the air It's high-flyin' spooks, we are every-which-where Well, look after your back We look into your face It's a gruesome member of the un-human race We're a grizzly, gruzzly, gamply disgrace Yes it's quite like those spooks We're all over the place!
- Grinch: [to Ukaraiah] Out of my way, small Who, I've got better things to do than to spend my time with you on Grinch Night.
- Josiah: [singing] I suggest we stay indoors tonight. / I suggest we lock ourselves in tight. / Tonight, you know, won't go quite right. / You can tell by the smell of the wind. / It sounds like another one's coming, / Another Grinch Night might commence. / I wouldn't go out on a night like this / For a dollar and fifty cents.
- [dialogue]
- Josiah: And that's why I'm suggesting / To all you ladies, kids, and gents. / I wouldn't go out on a night like this / For two dollars and fifty cents.
- [dialogue]
- Josiah: So I suggest we stay indoors tonight. / Our problems are immense. / I wouldn't go out on Grinch Night / For six dollars and sixty cents!
- Josiah: Ukariah? Ukariah? Where are you, Ukariah?
- Singers: He is wandering in the wind, / While the hakken-kraks are yowling / And the gree-grumps are a-growling. / He is wandering up Mt. Crumpett / In the sour-sweet Grinch Night wind.
- Mariah: Ukariah? Ukariah? Oh, come home, Ukariah!
- Singers: No one comes home from the wind. / No one comes home from the growling. / He is lost amongst the yowling, / Lost forever in the darkness / Of the sour-sweet Grinch Night wind.
- Singers: I suggest we stay indoors tonight. / Our problems are immense. / I wouldn't go out on a night like this / For sixty-six million, six hundred thousand dollars and an extra sixty-six cents!
- Narrator: Always starts when that sour-sweet wind begins a-howling. / The wind always ends up blowing on the wrong side of Punkers Pond. / And the wind awakens the gree-grumps, / Who emerge from out of their tree stumps. / And the gree-grumps begin a-growlin'. / And the growlin' of the gree-grumps runkles and grunkles up the pond. / 'Cause when old Punkers Pond starts runklin' and grunklin' from the gree-grumps' growlin', / That always disturbs the hakken-kraks. And the hakken-kraks start a-yowlin'. / And the yowlin' of the hakken-kraks, / Plus that runklin', grunklin', howlin', growlin', / Always rotates the Grinch! / And the Grinch begins a-prowlin'.
- Singers: As the Grinch creeps ever closer / To your little front yard gates, / He's engaged in Grinchy practices / That every Who abominates. / He defoliates, / Depreciates, / Deflating all the things he hates, / And frequently expectorates. / Oh, oh, the acts he activates, / He castigates.
- [bass solo]
- Singers: He blastigates!
- [all singers]
- Singers: And while all of Who-ville sits and waits / The fate that it anticipates, / His wagon wheel obliterates / And decimates and flattenates / Ten thousand little flowers.
- Ukaraiah: You know something, Mr. Grinch?
- Grinch: What?
- Ukaraiah: Well, sir, I happened to notice, the sour-sweet wind is dying down. No wind ever lasts forever.
- Grinch: So what?
- Ukaraiah: Well, sir, if my theory is correct, once the sour-sweet wind stops howlin', / That always stops the gree-grumps' growlin'.
- Grinch: Yes, I know, I know.
- Ukaraiah: And when the gree-grumps stop their growlin', / Punkers Pond stops runklin'-grunklin', / And when Punkers Pond stops runklin'-grunklin', / That always stops the hakken-kraks from yowlin'.
- Grinch: I know.
- Ukaraiah: And when the hakken-kraks stop yowlin', you *know* who that stops!
- Grinch: [ignorant] Mmmmm...
- Ukaraiah: That always stops the Grinch from prowlin'!
- [beat]
- Grinch: Well, I'll be grinched.
- Sergeant Samuel McPherson: Well, *I'll* be grinched.
Contribute to this page
Suggest an edit or add missing content
