43 reviews
Sometimes I ponder the intricacies of the horror genre after watching a really solid title, and I'm grateful to relate to the director's vision. I'm left wondering also, after experiencing a rather bland and boring attempt of a film - this is where Kiss of the Vampire makes its introduction, stage left.
Vampire films can generally be cataloged by time period, ranging from the depiction of Nosferatu in the silent era, the classic Universal era with stars like Bela Lugosi, the many versions brought to you by Hammer, the vampire revival in the 1980s, and of course the more modern and up to date creatures made possible by films like Blade and Underworld. I could easily break down the in's and out's contained within each era to offer more insight, but the point I'm making is that with each re-telling of a vampiric story there are clearly defined categories. To make any artistic progress within the film industry we must look past these "definied categories" and strive to create something new and refreshing; this is not my quarrel with Kiss of the Vampire.
The first thing I noticed that this film was devoid of was atmosphere...it has none. I must confess that I am no film major nor can I dazzle others with the industry's jargon and slang terms for motion blurs and set lighting. However, through the eyes of a common viewer and both a seasoned and appreciative horror fanatic, what hurts this film most was the lack of mood lighting. Each environment, in terms of lighting and emotion, is no different than the last. In my opinion, the romanticism that encompasses a vampire is part of what makes him/her so alluring. Why would the director choose to leave this out? A second observation of mine involved the cast...more importantly, the acting. I could not bring myself to get on board with what the actors/actresses were selling. Without describing the plot, there were too many instances where the dialogue seemed awkward and humiliating to sit through. You don't have to be an actor or actress to realize how certain lines need to be delivered and I can confidently say that none of them won me over. I conjured up a scenario in my head where the cast were handed a script with a blank title page, confusing them as to what film they were about to star in. If they had realized beforehand, they might catch onto the fact that the director had a vision of combining all of the stereotypical facets of a vampire, only to fall short and embarrass himself on each ensuing level.
Another subject worth mentioning are the action sequences. To put it simply, they are painful to watch. I'm not sure which in particular I'd rather be ashamed of...the choreography, the visual effects, or audio elements present here. Whenever the camera pans over to the "clan" standing there, menacingly, I can't help but laugh hysterically because they look like a bunch of children at an elementary school Halloween party. This is precisely why you shouldn't cast actors or actresses into the role of a vampire unless they have at least SOME understanding of how to act. I've seen more impressive role playing in a college-based vampire film that I helped do makeup for - and here I thought THAT was amateur-level cinematography.
In conclusion, vampiric cinema is one of my preferred sub-genres within the horror community. To see such a poor attempt at portraying them really disappoints me. This is 2009 - we've had nearly a hundred years worth, and then some, of sources to draw from to keep this legend alive. It seems as though Kiss of the Vampire chose to adhere to the more classical elements while incorporating a modern touch without making either interesting or unique enough. So why, do I ask, would you bother at all?
Vampire films can generally be cataloged by time period, ranging from the depiction of Nosferatu in the silent era, the classic Universal era with stars like Bela Lugosi, the many versions brought to you by Hammer, the vampire revival in the 1980s, and of course the more modern and up to date creatures made possible by films like Blade and Underworld. I could easily break down the in's and out's contained within each era to offer more insight, but the point I'm making is that with each re-telling of a vampiric story there are clearly defined categories. To make any artistic progress within the film industry we must look past these "definied categories" and strive to create something new and refreshing; this is not my quarrel with Kiss of the Vampire.
The first thing I noticed that this film was devoid of was atmosphere...it has none. I must confess that I am no film major nor can I dazzle others with the industry's jargon and slang terms for motion blurs and set lighting. However, through the eyes of a common viewer and both a seasoned and appreciative horror fanatic, what hurts this film most was the lack of mood lighting. Each environment, in terms of lighting and emotion, is no different than the last. In my opinion, the romanticism that encompasses a vampire is part of what makes him/her so alluring. Why would the director choose to leave this out? A second observation of mine involved the cast...more importantly, the acting. I could not bring myself to get on board with what the actors/actresses were selling. Without describing the plot, there were too many instances where the dialogue seemed awkward and humiliating to sit through. You don't have to be an actor or actress to realize how certain lines need to be delivered and I can confidently say that none of them won me over. I conjured up a scenario in my head where the cast were handed a script with a blank title page, confusing them as to what film they were about to star in. If they had realized beforehand, they might catch onto the fact that the director had a vision of combining all of the stereotypical facets of a vampire, only to fall short and embarrass himself on each ensuing level.
Another subject worth mentioning are the action sequences. To put it simply, they are painful to watch. I'm not sure which in particular I'd rather be ashamed of...the choreography, the visual effects, or audio elements present here. Whenever the camera pans over to the "clan" standing there, menacingly, I can't help but laugh hysterically because they look like a bunch of children at an elementary school Halloween party. This is precisely why you shouldn't cast actors or actresses into the role of a vampire unless they have at least SOME understanding of how to act. I've seen more impressive role playing in a college-based vampire film that I helped do makeup for - and here I thought THAT was amateur-level cinematography.
In conclusion, vampiric cinema is one of my preferred sub-genres within the horror community. To see such a poor attempt at portraying them really disappoints me. This is 2009 - we've had nearly a hundred years worth, and then some, of sources to draw from to keep this legend alive. It seems as though Kiss of the Vampire chose to adhere to the more classical elements while incorporating a modern touch without making either interesting or unique enough. So why, do I ask, would you bother at all?
A film such as this could only come out on DVD. The studio probably realized how bad it was and decided that it would crash and burn if it was released in the theaters.
While some of the cast have been in decent films, most of the cast are wooden or sounding like they're reading cue cards. Most of the dialogue sounds amateurish and fake.
The plot seems to be a composite of a few story ideas, with the hopes of making something stick (a cop story, a vampire romance, a conspiracy involving the poor man's version of the Illuminati. Unfortunately, none of it works.
The main vampire, Alex, is boring, as is his love interest, Estelle. Since they can't act, it's not a big deal. Neither can the cops, or anyone else.
Finally, when the closing credits are playing, the theme song, "Immortally Yours", is like ice picks to one's eardrums.
Save your money and avoid this turkey.
While some of the cast have been in decent films, most of the cast are wooden or sounding like they're reading cue cards. Most of the dialogue sounds amateurish and fake.
The plot seems to be a composite of a few story ideas, with the hopes of making something stick (a cop story, a vampire romance, a conspiracy involving the poor man's version of the Illuminati. Unfortunately, none of it works.
The main vampire, Alex, is boring, as is his love interest, Estelle. Since they can't act, it's not a big deal. Neither can the cops, or anyone else.
Finally, when the closing credits are playing, the theme song, "Immortally Yours", is like ice picks to one's eardrums.
Save your money and avoid this turkey.
A pack of blood thirsty vampires attacks people in an American city. When their leader Alex Stone (Daniel Goddard) meets the mortal Estelle Henderson (Kat Hawks), they fall in love with each other and Alex seeks out her father, who is researching immortality, to ask him to be reverted to mortal again.
The Illuminati Cartel is secretly sponsoring the researches since their leader Victor Price (Eric Etebari) wants to be immortal. Meanwhile, the vampire hunter Marshall Pope (Matthias Hues) arrives in the city to help the police to hunt down the vampires.
"Kiss of the Vampire", a.k.a. "Immortally Yours", is a boring and lame low-budget vampire movie released direct-to-video on DVD with subtitles without synchronicity with the speech. The laughable story is a mixed bag of dull romance and a boring cartel story entwined with vampires that are staked on the stomach and dies. Further, the noisy vampires attack in pack, roaring like lions and moving their heads back and forth in a ridiculous way. The acting is awful, with wooden actors and actresses and the scenarios and locations are very poor. Last but not the least, there are many fake reviews in IMDb promoting this movie and luring the readers. You just need to click on the author and see when he joined IMDb and how many reviews he has written (only one). My vote is three.
Title (Brazil): Not Available
The Illuminati Cartel is secretly sponsoring the researches since their leader Victor Price (Eric Etebari) wants to be immortal. Meanwhile, the vampire hunter Marshall Pope (Matthias Hues) arrives in the city to help the police to hunt down the vampires.
"Kiss of the Vampire", a.k.a. "Immortally Yours", is a boring and lame low-budget vampire movie released direct-to-video on DVD with subtitles without synchronicity with the speech. The laughable story is a mixed bag of dull romance and a boring cartel story entwined with vampires that are staked on the stomach and dies. Further, the noisy vampires attack in pack, roaring like lions and moving their heads back and forth in a ridiculous way. The acting is awful, with wooden actors and actresses and the scenarios and locations are very poor. Last but not the least, there are many fake reviews in IMDb promoting this movie and luring the readers. You just need to click on the author and see when he joined IMDb and how many reviews he has written (only one). My vote is three.
Title (Brazil): Not Available
- claudio_carvalho
- Jul 12, 2013
- Permalink
- tonynelson77
- Dec 20, 2008
- Permalink
IF YOU LIKED THIS MOVIE DON'T READ ANYMORE! *************************************************
I watched this movie...after the first ten minutes...for the laugh factor. If you stake a vampire through the stomach they die? Vampires can't defend themselves against puny mortal police officers? Oh and they growl like dinosaurs? I've been a fan of vampires all my life, and I have NEVER seen a vampire movie as bad as this.
The acting was absolutely horrible. What's with the pursing of the lips after each line? REALLY?? Alex looked like he wanted to make out with himself every three seconds. The action scenes were laughable, you can't even really call them action scenes. I won't even go into the comical background noises and the music tracks and the hilariously bad British (as well as other) accents that seemed to come and go among all the characters. The vampires live together in a big cushy mansion, but they all sleep in a crypt in the backyard in their own individual coffins. How archaic can you get? If they're going to sleep in coffins...AT LEAST HAVE THE COFFINS IN THE BIG CUSHY MANSION!!! The big names were the dwarf and the guy from Karate Kid who ran the Cobra Dojo. Tells you how big those names are, I can't even remember them and I've seen Karate Kid AND the Dwarf more times than I care to admit LOL. After doing this movie I'd doubt those two will ever work again.
I fully comprehend that this was an independent film, but what was the budget? $200? I only gave this one 1 star....because it doesn't give a zero option! As a vampire fan, I take this movie as a personal insult.
I watched this movie...after the first ten minutes...for the laugh factor. If you stake a vampire through the stomach they die? Vampires can't defend themselves against puny mortal police officers? Oh and they growl like dinosaurs? I've been a fan of vampires all my life, and I have NEVER seen a vampire movie as bad as this.
The acting was absolutely horrible. What's with the pursing of the lips after each line? REALLY?? Alex looked like he wanted to make out with himself every three seconds. The action scenes were laughable, you can't even really call them action scenes. I won't even go into the comical background noises and the music tracks and the hilariously bad British (as well as other) accents that seemed to come and go among all the characters. The vampires live together in a big cushy mansion, but they all sleep in a crypt in the backyard in their own individual coffins. How archaic can you get? If they're going to sleep in coffins...AT LEAST HAVE THE COFFINS IN THE BIG CUSHY MANSION!!! The big names were the dwarf and the guy from Karate Kid who ran the Cobra Dojo. Tells you how big those names are, I can't even remember them and I've seen Karate Kid AND the Dwarf more times than I care to admit LOL. After doing this movie I'd doubt those two will ever work again.
I fully comprehend that this was an independent film, but what was the budget? $200? I only gave this one 1 star....because it doesn't give a zero option! As a vampire fan, I take this movie as a personal insult.
- azesmistress
- Nov 10, 2009
- Permalink
- Crimepunisher
- Jul 20, 2009
- Permalink
I have not seen a worse movie in many, many years. From the writing, to the production, to the actors, this is just awful.
Right off the bat, you know you are in for a bad ride. The actors spout inane lines in a deadpan monotone. While it is true that they are not responsible for the confused plot, which rambles about pretty much pointlessly throughout, they could at least put some effort into the deliverance of the lines. The effects throughout the movie are equally lame.
The movie is just full of unbelievable characters, doing unrealistic things from the poorly portrayed cops to the ridiculously portrayed illuminati, to the vampires that no one could really care about.
I just cannot believe that it is possible that any person or group of persons could have thought that producing this drivel was a good idea. Who pays for garbage like this? (I mean the producers, etc). I guess they never once saw any of it before it was done, otherwise they would surely have pulled the plug on it. For some of the reviews I have read that gave a positive review...they HAD to have meant a different movie. No one, I mean no one, could like this. Awful. Terrible. P-U, it stunk, badly. Some movies are so bad, you actually just have to see it. Unfortunately, this is not one of them. Although it is really bad, it is not even entertaining in its badness.
Right off the bat, you know you are in for a bad ride. The actors spout inane lines in a deadpan monotone. While it is true that they are not responsible for the confused plot, which rambles about pretty much pointlessly throughout, they could at least put some effort into the deliverance of the lines. The effects throughout the movie are equally lame.
The movie is just full of unbelievable characters, doing unrealistic things from the poorly portrayed cops to the ridiculously portrayed illuminati, to the vampires that no one could really care about.
I just cannot believe that it is possible that any person or group of persons could have thought that producing this drivel was a good idea. Who pays for garbage like this? (I mean the producers, etc). I guess they never once saw any of it before it was done, otherwise they would surely have pulled the plug on it. For some of the reviews I have read that gave a positive review...they HAD to have meant a different movie. No one, I mean no one, could like this. Awful. Terrible. P-U, it stunk, badly. Some movies are so bad, you actually just have to see it. Unfortunately, this is not one of them. Although it is really bad, it is not even entertaining in its badness.
- charlies123
- Jan 23, 2010
- Permalink
- aquamanfreak
- Jul 4, 2009
- Permalink
- Manos_Mantzas
- Jan 10, 2009
- Permalink
I rented it to watch for my wife and kids recently and thought it was good and so unusual for a vampire film. For me I liked the international cast and the sexy vampire girls which are a mainstay in modern vampire movies now. I think they were atypical which is good.
This movie had an interesting plot with a lot of turns that made it interesting. There was enough action and killing for me because I don't like a movie that is all kill and no plot. The movie cruised along pretty good and it had some mildly fearful parts to it too. My son and daughter (early teens) also thought it was good but it was frightening to them in some scenes. My wife said it was way different than she thought it would be but pretty good.
The way this movie presented vampires and criminals brought a new light into movie making and that's what I like to see. I also did liked the ending and thought it was pretty imaginative. To think of disposing of the criminal vampires like that had to be a first.
This movie had an interesting plot with a lot of turns that made it interesting. There was enough action and killing for me because I don't like a movie that is all kill and no plot. The movie cruised along pretty good and it had some mildly fearful parts to it too. My son and daughter (early teens) also thought it was good but it was frightening to them in some scenes. My wife said it was way different than she thought it would be but pretty good.
The way this movie presented vampires and criminals brought a new light into movie making and that's what I like to see. I also did liked the ending and thought it was pretty imaginative. To think of disposing of the criminal vampires like that had to be a first.
I have been reading a lot of mixed reviews and had to see it. The movie is pretty good. I did like the story and a different take on vampires. The acting was good by most and the effects were OK too. For my taste, I thought it could be more violent and think it is like twilight in a lot of ways. I thought the best part was when the vampire hunter and the police were fighting it out.
I guess for a younger teen, twenties and tween audience it was very good. There have been many vampire movies over the years and some have been exceptional and others not, but this seems to be in the middle somewhere, especially for the young. Nothing great but nothing bad. I give it a 7 out of ten for a family type film. It was worth the watch.
I guess for a younger teen, twenties and tween audience it was very good. There have been many vampire movies over the years and some have been exceptional and others not, but this seems to be in the middle somewhere, especially for the young. Nothing great but nothing bad. I give it a 7 out of ten for a family type film. It was worth the watch.
- dwarven_tavern
- Sep 1, 2011
- Permalink
This movie has everything: uninteresting plot, poor acting, slow pace, bad editing, exceptionally bad sound. What's not to hate?
Vampires that roar like lions... ugh. I could just hear the director saying, "OK,now throw your head back and snarl. Make your eyes crazy! Show your fangs!" Sound mixing was probably done on a 1980's cassette recorder.
I can't believe someone actually thought it was a good idea to produce it.
Wish I hadn't wasted my time - it's an hour and a half I'll never get back - but I kept hoping it would get better. It didn't.
Vampires that roar like lions... ugh. I could just hear the director saying, "OK,now throw your head back and snarl. Make your eyes crazy! Show your fangs!" Sound mixing was probably done on a 1980's cassette recorder.
I can't believe someone actually thought it was a good idea to produce it.
Wish I hadn't wasted my time - it's an hour and a half I'll never get back - but I kept hoping it would get better. It didn't.
I have never ever in my life seen such a ridiculous movie. What a waste of money and my time..but than again, The movie could not have cost more than a couple of hundred bucks.. I hope the real Dracula will not see this,
I'd think he would settle it his way with the director of this crap. And isn't that the bad guy dojo master from the Karate Kid. Does this guy still walks the earth, what a surprise
Making real movies is still an artform that not so many people know to do in a way that one really is grabbed out of ones life and thrown right into the story..
So, if you have bought this movie..i'm terribly sorry for you. If you have downloaded this movie (like me) than Shift+Delete this one immediately!
Peace. Zenboogie
I'd think he would settle it his way with the director of this crap. And isn't that the bad guy dojo master from the Karate Kid. Does this guy still walks the earth, what a surprise
Making real movies is still an artform that not so many people know to do in a way that one really is grabbed out of ones life and thrown right into the story..
So, if you have bought this movie..i'm terribly sorry for you. If you have downloaded this movie (like me) than Shift+Delete this one immediately!
Peace. Zenboogie
- zenboogie75
- May 10, 2009
- Permalink
Okay I am a huge cheesy movie fan but this was bad even for me. Watchout folks plot holes up ahead.
it could have been good there is a story here but it was executed poorly.
the only way i recommend this movie is to see how not to make a vampire movie.
one character made 'specialty weapons' to kill the vampires, and what are they long stakes and large sling shots with wooden stakes. Do they actually know where a heart is located on the body?? most of the time NO they aim and strike just below the heart in the diaphram, yeah that will kill them.
sorry for the spelling
it could have been good there is a story here but it was executed poorly.
the only way i recommend this movie is to see how not to make a vampire movie.
one character made 'specialty weapons' to kill the vampires, and what are they long stakes and large sling shots with wooden stakes. Do they actually know where a heart is located on the body?? most of the time NO they aim and strike just below the heart in the diaphram, yeah that will kill them.
sorry for the spelling
- lexyshirley
- Aug 28, 2009
- Permalink
this movie was ...pathetic . looks like Eric Etebari is the only real actor ( and well, my only reason to watch the movie). for God's sake, save this guy, he deserves better roles. the vampires look hilarious,they can't scare anyone with those grins. the police officers like porn actors and the villains like amateurs. the main actress is awful - she looks like a drug addict - when Alex was shot she behaved very artificial. and another issue - the vampire hunter acted like a newbie, he was killed by a teenage vampire. this movie was a real disappointment to me, sorry to say it. there were no special effects, no structured plot line, no nothing.
- old_bad_wolf
- Nov 22, 2009
- Permalink
- dbborroughs
- Jan 18, 2009
- Permalink
Out of the box! I loved it and think the actors did a very nice job. Of course it's not going to win an academy award but it was refreshing to see new stuff. I think it was pretty scary in some parts and kind-a-funny in others. The neat part of the movie to me was when the vampires were in their mansion and also in the cemetery. It gave me a few chills when the vampire girl jumped out of no where and attacked the police man. I think the vampire girls are way good and looked incredible. I do love Twlight the best and am a big fan of horror and think it is tight to have new looks and plots in any Gothic films.
When the vampires are in the night club and they kill that guy that was spooky and it was funny when the little guy was takin care of them. Goth, horror and vampire is the way to go and the clothes on the fems were YES. Keep comin' up with new ideas for goth and vampires!
When the vampires are in the night club and they kill that guy that was spooky and it was funny when the little guy was takin care of them. Goth, horror and vampire is the way to go and the clothes on the fems were YES. Keep comin' up with new ideas for goth and vampires!
- petersarapino
- Nov 16, 2008
- Permalink
- thetammyjo
- Feb 5, 2011
- Permalink