Guidance on how to do "post-election" 1:1s with your team

This tense and emotional moment in America calls for timely advice for managers to check in with all your team members today. Why?  

When people are upset or anxious they first need validation. Not solutions or hear everything will be “ok.” After, they’ll need some form of direction.

Below is a template on how to have that conversation: how to open it, how to validate emotions, and how to provide direction and support.

This election time has been very stressful for many people. And its current unclear state will leave a lot of folks obsessing even more about the darkest contingencies. While it'd be great to have some clarity, it's unclear when that will arrive. It's your job to help your teams through this and keep them in the present.

Your role as their manager

You may be feeling nervous and unsettled yourself.

Remember, as a manager you can help your team a great deal - by giving them some sense of normalcy and direction. 

They'll need you! 

In uncertain times, people crave support and want to lean on you as their manager.

Also, not having an outlet can lead to more stress down the road — the feelings always come out somewhere. So try and be intentional about helping folks let some of those feelings out!

But first, check your own emotional state

If you're feeling strong emotions, allow yourself to feel that way for a moment.

Also, be mindful that your own opinion may differ from your reports. 

One of my reports during the last US election supported the exact opposite political view from me. I had to hold back my own opinion and let them air their feelings and concerns.  

This is not a time to convince them of your views (even if you may be angry or concerned yourself).

How to structure your post-election 1:1

1. Explain why you’re meeting  

Start the conversation with something like:

It’s a tumultuous time. The reason for this catch up is because I thought to check in on how this is affecting you. How do you feel?

It's possible that the person firmly says: I’m fine. In that case - there’s no need to keep digging for feelings.

The person may truly feel fine. Or maybe they don’t want to talk about it with you.

Either should be respected. 

2. Validate feelings

It's important that you stay level headed and validate your team members’ feelings and not dismiss them.

How you validate 

First, and most importantly, validation starts with listening. 

Not only should you let them do most of the talking, but your body language should indicate that you are focused only on them. So, put your phone away, close your browser tabs, and be present. Look at your camera and not away.  

No need to fill the space with your blabber or fix how the person is feeling - your goal is to acknowledge the person's many different emotions - and let them know that that is okay.

There are many ways to validate. But as long as you try to show the other person that you recognize and accept their emotions, you’re validating.

Try validating sentences like:

• Of course you’re ….. [Emotion: e.g. angry, sad, confused,..]
• You have the right to be ….. This is such a difficult situation
• Your feelings are normal
• Anyone who went through that would be sad

Each of these responses refers to a specific emotion they brought up, and it shows them that that emotion is normal and understandable. 

On the flip side, avoid invalidating responses. You may mean well, but the following responses will make the situation worse as they suggest that your team member is irrational or shouldn’t feel the way they feel.

Avoid invalidating sentences like:

• We’ll be fine. Politics are temporary 
• Let’s try and put a smile on your face and keep positive
• At least it’s not [refer to another country or situation]
• It could be worse!
• Things will work out

If you feel it’s needed, remind employees about EAP 

EAP counselors are trained and ready to talk them through the stress and grief they might encounter.

Look up the contact details of your Employee Assistance Program (EAP) before you meet as you may want to give your report that information if they appear very distressed.  

3. Try to channel some of the nervous energy

You can suggest the team member take it easy today as they will likely be distracted with strong feelings, desire to read the news, check in with friends/family, etc. 

Some people who experience anxiety or grief want to direct their energy into something...anything. 

You can ask your report if they would like a task or to work on something today. 

Suggest tackling a simple task aimed at the future  

Do a simple but positive task where people feel some sense of accomplishment and hope for a better future, even if it’s small. 

It’s useful to do something like decluttering, organize or look around your workspace and think about how to make it a productive place to work in. 

They could pick something up from a store, or hang-up that poster they wanted to hang up in their workspace.

Give your team something to look forward to

There’ll be time to refocus thoughts on the election as results come in, but planning and executing something you enjoy will reduce uncertainty between now and then.

One way to counter nervous anticipation is to plan something positive, maybe even exciting, for the immediate future.

Any activity that can provide a sense of control or agency will feel good. It’s better to stay busy somehow. Maybe this is a time to involve folks to think about some philanthropic causes to support as a team or company.  

After the meetings, continue to lead with empathy 

Some team members may be reeling for a while, so try not to push your team too hard too fast. With that said, work will continue and projects need to be delivered. 

As the leader, it is important to show empathy, but at the same time, ensure the business can remain productive as usual after a few days. 

Some advice: 

• Don’t cancel any 1:1 meetings! They’re an important time to check-in with your employees regularly.
• Set a good example by staying productive even if you’re anxious and upset inside. This helps employees realize that despite their emotional state, it is possible to remain productive. 
• Refrain from becoming aloof so that employees don't view you as uncaring.