Try Doing Less Not More

Whether we are talking about gift-giving or activities, how about doing less this year?

Everyone seems to feel the need to do more—more parties, more decorations, more and better gifts. We see what other people are doing through the constant online media presence—how they are decorating, what they are wearing, and compare ourselves to those airbrushed portrayals.

By the way, does anyone ever post about their failed attempts to shop, bake, or decorate? Or their lack of time or energy?

For children, and especially for small children, more is arguably not better. Children ages 1 and 2 don’t know what presents are and they don’t need them. They get excited by the excitement around them. They tear into the wrapping paper because they are encouraged to do so or because they see others doing this, but they don’t care about presents, not really. What they care about is being with family, having the family's attention, and of course the occasional yummy treat. Our efforts to shop and bake and decorate and entertain take us away from our young children and make us irritable when we are with them.

How about limiting gifts this year? For a child under age 3, one or two presents are plenty. I know this may seem wrong; I know grandparents and other relatives may be hard to restrain. But a mountain of gifts and demands to open, open, open can be overwhelming for young children rather than fun. You may notice that they get cranky more easily, and seem tired or wired - and these are sign of overstimulation - which is not fun for them or anyone else.

And how about limiting the parties and activities you engage in with your children? Again, this may seem wrong, but young children do well with one activity per half day. One visit to Santa in the morning. One party in the afternoon or evening. If you try to pack in a series of events, one after the other, again, you may see tired or wired feelings and behavior.

Even for older children, it can be too much. Limiting the number of presents even for them is an option. Or opening presents one at a time while everyone pays attention. Hard to accomplish, I know, but this also has its benefits: The giver gets to watch the child’s reaction and the receiver gets the feeling of attention that may have been lacking in the frenzy.

And for parents? Too much pressure to do too much can also leave you tired or wired - - or worse.

Perhaps some time on the couch snuggling and watching a holiday movie together will make everyone feel better rather than going to one more party or inviting even more people over.

Try giving yourself permission do less this year!

...and happy holidays!