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Soaking (sexual practice)

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Illustration of "soaking" or the act of vaginal penetration without subsequent thrusting

Soaking is a sexual practice of inserting the penis into the vagina but not subsequently thrusting or ejaculating, reportedly used by some members of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church).[5] News sources do not report it being a common practice, and some Latter-day Saints have said that soaking is an urban legend and not an actual practice.[1][6] Others report knowing church members who had soaked,[10] or gave a firsthand account of trying the practice with a partner before marriage while a member of the LDS Church.[11]

Rumors on TikTok and other social media sites claim that soaking serves as a purported loophole to the LDS Church's sexual code of conduct, called the law of chastity, which says that all sexual activity outside of a heterosexual marriage is a sin,[2][12][13] and further bars masturbation for church members.[14][15][16] The LDS Church teaches that "it is wrong to touch the private [...] parts of another person's body even if clothed" outside of a monogamous heterosexual marriage.[17][18][19] Some news sources directly state that the LDS Church and its adherents do not believe soaking is a loophole to the church's code of sexual conduct.[20]

One source stated it was difficult to know how common it was due to the secrecy and shame around sex in the LDS Church,[2] and underreporting due to the social-desirability bias is a common issue even among anonymous surveys of many stigmatized sexual behaviors.[21][22] The term comes from the idea that vaginal lubrication is "soaking" the penis.[23] One source said the term started as "dick soak" on an internet forum in 2009, and morphed to simply "soaking" by 2011, and gained wider use in 2019.[4]

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In 2021, a video about soaking went viral on TikTok,[25] and since then the topic has an estimated 69 million posts and 243 million mention on the platform as of 2024.[23][26] The practice has its own page on the pop-culture website "Know Your Meme".[27] It has been used as a plot point in sitcoms in the early 2020s,[2][28] such as the television series Alpha House,[28] Get Shorty,[29][30] and Jury Duty.[31][32] It was also referenced in the book Up Up, Down Down,[33] in a Barstool Sports video segment,[34] a Make Some Noise improv sketch,[35] and in at least one short film of Mormon pornography.[36] Comedian Chelsea Handler explained the practice in an interview on The Late Late Show with James Corden.[37]

Reactions

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Two satirical social media accounts, the BYU Virginity Club[38] and the BYU Slut Club,[39] have both disavowed the practice.[40][11] Articles have stated that soaking does not prevent the spread of sexually transmitted infection and may still result in pregnancy.[3][23] One interviewee stated it was "a dangerous form of misinformation being used to manipulate naive girls in college dorms."[41]

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Practices described in the following sources as related to soaking include jump humping, provo pushing, and durfing:

  • Jump humping – Soaking is sometimes accompanied by "jump humping", in which a third person is invited to bounce on the bed (or to push up on the mattress from below) for a couple engaged in soaking, thus generating motion for them (according to TikTokers ExmoLex and FuneralPotatoSlut, and a BYU student interviewee on Barstool Sports).[12][24][13] The external source of motion allegedly absolves the soaking couple from responsibility for any genital movement.[1][2][42]
  • Provo pushing – The "jump hump" assistant has been termed the "bed jumper" or "Provo pusher" (after Provo, Utah, home of BYU).[1] Other definitions of "provo push" refer to it as clothed or unclothed, non-penetrative dry humping or sexual frottage between church members.[43][44]
  • Durfing – Dry humping between church members is also called "durfing".[45][9][46]
  • Poophole loophole – Using anal sex to skirt rules around vaginal intercourse and to retain virginity is termed the "poophole loophole",[47] and is reportedly used by some LDS adherents.[4][19][48] One study found US teens who pledged to not have sex until marriage were more likely to engage in anal sex without vaginal sex than teens who had not made a sexual abstinence pledge, and found pledge-takers were just as likely to test positive for a sexually transmitted infection (STI) five years after taking the pledge.[49]

Historical citing of the practice

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In 1885, one of the LDS Church's top leaders, 73-year-old apostle Albert Carrington, argued during the hearings before his excommunication that his decade of extramarital sexual relationships with multiple younger women did not count as adultery (a violation of the church's law of chastity) and was just a "little folly" because he would only partially penetrate the vagina with just the tip of his penis and part of the shaft (reportedly to less than the total "depth of four inches"), and pulled out before ejaculation.[50]: 147  Then First Presidency member Joseph F. Smith called Carrington's actions a "transgression" and other top leaders called them "crimes of lewd and lascivious conduct and adultery", and Carrington was excommunicated.[50]: 141, 156  Carrington was rebaptized two years later.[50]: 159 

See also

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References

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  1. ^ a b c d e f Ball, Siobhan (September 29, 2021). "Soaking, the sin-free Mormon sex trend, has made its way to TikTok". The Daily Dot.
  2. ^ a b c d e Salmin, Dee (October 6, 2021). "What is 'Soaking' – the Mormon sex practise that's gone viral on TikTok?". Triple J. Australian Broadcasting Company.
  3. ^ a b Lindsay, Jessica (October 9, 2021). "Jump humping and soaking: How Mormon teens are getting around their religion's premarital sex rules". Metro.
  4. ^ a b c Levine, Mia (March 8, 2021). "BYU Students are 'Soaking' Up Loopholes". The Scarlet. Worcester, Massachusetts, USA: Clark University.
  5. ^ [1][2][3][4]
  6. ^ a b "Is 'Soaking' a Real Mormon Sex Thing?". Slate. September 29, 2021.
  7. ^ a b Templeton, Sarah (January 10, 2021). "What is 'soaking' and 'jump-humping'?: The Mormon sex acts going viral on social media". Newshub. Warner Bros. Discovery New Zealand.
  8. ^ a b Lewak, Doree (September 30, 2021). "Mormon sex act that's gone viral". New York Post – via News.com.au.
  9. ^ a b Smith, C. Brian (July 18, 2017). "Soaking, Derfing and the 'Mormon Soak': Sex Without Losing Virginity?". MEL Magazine.
  10. ^ [1][7][8][9]
  11. ^ a b Moore, Andria (October 20, 2021). "'Soaking' Has Become A Viral Conversation Because It's Apparently How Mormons Avoid Penetrative Sex Before Marriage". BuzzFeed.
  12. ^ a b López, Canela (September 28, 2021). "Mormon teens on TikTok are filming themselves 'jump-humping', a tactic used to avoid thrusting during penetrative sex". Insider Inc.
  13. ^ a b Marks, Andrea (October 26, 2022). "A Rumor About a Crabs Outbreak at Brigham Young University Sparks Talk of Armpit Sex". Rolling Stone.
  14. ^ Malan, Mark Kim; Bullough, Vern (December 2005). "Historical development of new masturbation attitudes in Mormon culture: Silence, secular conformity, counterrevolution, and emerging reform". Sexuality & Culture. 9 (4): 94–109. CiteSeerX 10.1.1.597.8039. doi:10.1007/s12119-005-1003-z. S2CID 145480822 – via Internet Archive.
  15. ^ "Chapter 3: Missionary Conduct". Missionary Standards for Disciple of Jesus Christ. LDS Church. November 2019. Archived from the original on November 21, 2019 – via Internet Archive. You should avoid any thought or action that would separate you from the Spirit of God. This includes but is not limited to adultery; fornication; same-sex activity; oral sex; arousing sexual feelings; inappropriate touching; sending or receiving messages, images, or videos that are immoral or sexual in nature; masturbation; and viewing or using pornography.
  16. ^ Stephenson, Kathy (April 16, 2021). "Latter-day Saint sex therapist plans to fight to keep her church membership". The Salt Lake Tribune. Archived from the original on April 3, 2023 – via Internet Archive. Church spokesman Eric Hawkins said in a statement that [...] the church condemns pornography in any form and sees masturbation as immoral.
  17. ^ Fletcher Stack, Peggy (October 1, 2022). "A look at the new language in the LDS Church's 'For the Strength of Youth' guide". The Salt Lake Tribune.
  18. ^ For the Strength of Youth: A Guide for Making Choices. LDS Church. May 21, 2022.
  19. ^ a b c Myers, Quinn (October 2021). "When Sex Looks Like 'Soaking': Tales from Ex-Mormons". MEL Magazine.
  20. ^ [1]: 1 [6]: 1 
  21. ^ King, Bruce M. (April 1, 2022). "The Influence of Social Desirability on Sexual Behavior Surveys: A Review". Archives of Sexual Behavior. 51 (3). Springer Science: 1495–1501. doi:10.1007/s10508-021-02197-0. ISSN 1573-2800. PMC 8917098. PMID 35142972 – via ResearchGate.net. However, indirect evidence indicates that under-reporting (e.g., of a number of sexual partners, receptive anal intercourse, condom use) is common. Among the general population, several studies have now reported that even with anonymous responding, there are significant correlations between a variety of self-reported sexual behaviors (e.g., use of condoms, sexual fantasies, exposure to pornography, penis size) and social desirability, with evidence that extreme under- or over-reporting is as common as is found in other fields.
  22. ^ Ueffing, Philipp; Dasgupta, Aisha N. Z.; Kantorová, Vladimíra (November 2020). "Sexual activity by marital status and age: a comparative perspective" (PDF). Journal of Biosocial Science. 52 (6). Cambridge University Press: 4, 18. doi:10.1017/S002193201900083X. ISSN 0021-9320. PMID 31847925. S2CID 209409020 – via United Nations.
  23. ^ a b c Kassel, Gabrielle (May 3, 2024). "What Is Soaking? All The Myths About The Sex Act, Debunked". Women's Health.
  24. ^ a b Jackson, Gita (September 27, 2021). "Viral 'Jump Humping' TikTok Teaches the World About Mormon Sex". Vice.
  25. ^ [19][24][8][7]
  26. ^ Feneley, Ruby (September 13, 2024). "From Soaking To Dirty Soda: TikTok Is Fascinated By These Mormon Practices". Marie Claire.
  27. ^ "Mormon Soaking/Jump Humping". Know Your Meme. September 27, 2021.
  28. ^ a b Weber, Brenda R. (2019). Latter-day Screens: Gender, Sexuality, and Mediated Mormonism. Duke University Press. p. 206. ISBN 978-1-4780-0529-2 – via Google Books.
  29. ^ Palmieri, Lea (April 9, 2020). "Steamy & Streamy: The 'Get Shorty' TV Show Taught Us About a Kinky Sex Craze Called 'Soaking'". Decider.
  30. ^ Rausch, Andrew J. (May 6, 2022). Perspectives on Elmore Leonard: Conversations with Authors, Experts and Collaborators. McFarland & Company. p. 84. ISBN 978-1-4766-8002-6 – via Google Books.
  31. ^ Bell, BreAnna (April 26, 2023). "Why 'Jury Duty' Boss Cody Heller Almost Cut That Soaking Scene, Pitches Season 2 Set in a 'Whole Different Universe'". Variety.
  32. ^ "Ineffective Assistance". Jury Duty. Season 1. Episode 5. April 13, 2023. Event occurs at 26:30. Amazon Freevee.
  33. ^ Knapp, Cheston (February 6, 2018). Up Up, Down Down. Simon & Schuster. p. 117. ISBN 978-1-5011-6104-9 – via Google Books.
  34. ^ Paolantonio, Rone Angelo (November 18, 2019). "The Secret World Of Sex In Utah". Barstool Sports.
  35. ^ Reich, Sam; Michaelis, Vic (July 20, 2024). Mormon Parents Give You the Soaking Talk (motion picture). Make Some Noise – via YouTube.
  36. ^ Soaking (motion picture). Adult Time [sv]. May 31, 2022.
  37. ^ Corden, James; Handler, Chelsea; Porter, Billy (October 25, 2022). "Chelsea Handler On The Ins-and-Outs Of 'Soaking'". The Late Late Show with James Corden. Season 8. Episode 1121. CBS – via YouTube.
  38. ^ Malone Kircher, Madeline (July 21, 2021). "Is the Brigham Young University Virginity Club for Real? An Investigation". Slate.
  39. ^ Leibert, Emily (November 3, 2021). "The BYU Slut Club Wants Everyone to Live Their Best Slutty Life". InsideHook.
  40. ^ Crimmins, Tricia (October 28, 2021). "'Why are companies allowed to control what u do?': Boss threatens to fire TikToker who explained 'soaking' Mormon sex trend in viral video". Daily Dot.
  41. ^ Morrison-Thiagu, Saskia (October 2, 2021). "What The Hell Is 'Soaking' & 'Jump Humping' And Why Are Mormons On TikTok Talking About It?". Sydney, Australia: Pedestrian.
  42. ^ Malashevich, Valerija (December 7, 2022). "Sex or scripture: The Madonnna-Whore complex". Michigan Daily. Ann Arbor, Michigan: University of Michigan.
  43. ^ Curry, Colleen (February 6, 2013). "Jodi Arias Said Travis Alexander Had 'Bill Clinton' View of Sex". ABC News.
  44. ^ "More Sexual Details in Jodi Arias Testimony". CNN. February 7, 2013.
  45. ^ Williams, Kori (September 30, 2021). "We Almost Wish We Didn't Know What 'Mormon Soaking' Is". Distractify.
  46. ^ Benson, Rhianna (September 19, 2024). "Ex-Mormon explains 'durfing' bedroom trend young members use as secret loophole". Tyla.com. Manchester, UK: LADbible Group.
  47. ^ "The Poophole Loophole: Exploring the paradox of having anal sex to preserve purity". Rooster. Longmont, Colorado. February 6, 2017.
  48. ^ "Sex is sinful, so Mormons must get creative to get laid". Rooster. Longmont, Colorado. October 27, 2017.
  49. ^ Brückner, Hannah; Bearman, Peter (April 2005). "After the promise: The STD consequences of adolescent virginity pledges". Journal of Adolescent Health. 36 (4). Elsevier: 274,276.
  50. ^ a b c Bergera, Gary James (July 1, 2011). "Transgression in the LDS Community: The Cases of Albert Carrington, Richard R. Lyman, and Joseph F. Smith: Part 1". Journal of Mormon History. 37 (3). University of Illinois Press: 118–161. doi:10.2307/23292726. ISSN 0094-7342. JSTOR 23292726. S2CID 254480353 – via Utah State University.
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