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Wikipedia:Peer review/I Got That/archive1

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I Got That

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I am nominating this article for a peer review as I am debating on whether or not, I would like to put it through the WP:FAC process in the future. I have completely rewritten the article since its GAN review back in 2018, and I am not 100% confident in the prose. I thought that a peer review would be the best space to just improve the article as a whole as much as possible. Any and all comments would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance! Aoba47 (talk) 17:52, 3 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Medxvo

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  • "The music samples the 1985 Gwen Guthrie song "Seventh Heaven" - "A hip-hop song, "I Got That" samples the 1985 Gwen Guthrie song "Seventh Heaven"
  • I agree that my wording was not great, and while I do appreciate the suggestion, I think that it would introduce unnecessary repetition by having "song" twice in the same sentence. The genre is already introduced in the lead's first sentence so there is no need to put it here as well. I have revised this with something else. Aoba47 (talk) 14:39, 12 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Most reviews mostly focused on Beyoncé, who praised for her vocals" - who praised for her vocals?
  • "Amil was the only woman signed to Roc-A-Fella" - as of? seems like more female artists joined the label later
  • I have added that this was for the time of the album's release (i.e. in 2000). I do not think "as of" would work in this context as the label is defunct and is no longer operational so it does not have artists on it. I will do more research for this when I get the chance to see if any additional context is necessary, but basically, at this time, Amil was the only female rapper on the label at least according to the sources that I have found. Aoba47 (talk) 14:37, 12 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Amil co-wrote "I Got That" with its producers and with Jay-Z, Makeda Davis, and Tamy Lestor Smith for All Money Is Legal" - I don't get the placement of "for All Money Is Legal" ...?
  • "All of the tracks for All Money Is Legal" - "All of the tracks on All Money Is Legal"
  • "lasts three minutes and seventeen seconds long" - "lasts for three minutes and seventeen seconds"
  • This archive seems to confirm that the music video was directed by Darren Grant and Jay-Z

Hope these comments are helpful. The article looks pretty decent to me, will take another look to see if I have any further suggestions. Hope you're having a good day :) Medxvo (talk) 09:18, 12 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

  • @Medxvo: Thank you for your help. I believe that I have addressed everything. I will do further research on one of the points above. I hope you are having a wonderful day as well. Aoba47 (talk) 14:39, 12 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
    I've responded to a couple of things above and have made a minor copyedit here. Hope to see this at FAC soon, I wish you the best :)) Medxvo (talk) 19:24, 12 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
    Thank you again for your help. I greatly appreciate it! Aoba47 (talk) 19:59, 12 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
    Thank you, I'm glad I could help! I just came to see if you'd be able to help with the PR I've just opened, but I see that you've already added a placeholder on my current FAC, which is so awesome haha, thanks so much in advance :)) Medxvo (talk) 21:11, 12 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
    You were a big help, particularly with finding the Darren Grant source. I will see if I also have time to get to your PR. I do really love Christmas music so it would be fun to read about this one. Hopefully, I can help with your FAC. Based on what I have read so far, I do not see any major issues, and you have done a great job so far. I have posted some comments there, but they are mostly nitpicks and clarification questions. I will post further comments over the weekend. Aoba47 (talk) 21:23, 12 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
    Thanks so much :)) I really appreciate the kind words. Have a great weekend! Medxvo (talk) 22:27, 12 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

NØ

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I will swing by during the upcoming weekend, hopefully.--NØ 08:13, 13 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

  • I would suggest removing the "image=none" parameter in the sample, as it is decreasing the file width and making it occupy more lines.
  • The article states "I Got That" and "4 da Fam" were double A-sides, but the infobox states that "4 da Fam" was a B-side. It might be better to be consistent either way.
  • "She co-wrote the track with its producers Poke & Tone and L.E.S. as well as with Jay-Z, Makeda Davis, and Tamy Lestor Smith." - You could add commas before and after "Poke & Tone and L.E.S.", as they are the sole producers.
  • "Beyoncé performs the chorus and backing vocals, using the feature as a way to assess her viability as a solo artist outside of her girl group Destiny's Child." - The "using the feature as a way to" framing can be misread to mean that the lyrics Beyonce sings in the song are about her viability outside of Destiny's Child. How about something like "Beyoncé appeared on the song to assess her viability as a solo artist outside of her girl group Destiny's Child, performing the chorus and backing vocals."
  • That is much better. Thank you for the suggestion.
  • "Most reviews mostly focused on Beyoncé" - Avoid the repetition of "most" here if possible. The sentence might still be fine with the removal of "mostly"
  • Has Amil ever performed the song live?
  • Not from what I could find. It is odd to not have any live performances for what should be a big single and a big album from this label, but I do know there were a lot of behind the scenes issues and tensions with Amil and the label so that is likely why a performance never happened. It's a shame because it would have been interesting to see. Aoba47 (talk) 16:36, 14 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Amil would continue to collaborate with Jay-Z for "Nigga What, Nigga Who (Originator 99)" and "Do It Again (Put Ya Hands Up)" (both in 1999) and "Hey Papi" (2000), and appeared on several songs by other Roc-A-Fella artists." - Slight WP:CINS issue which would be fixed by adding "she" between "and appeared"
  • "Amil co-wrote "I Got That" with its producers—L.E.S. and Poke & Tone duo Jean-Claude Olivier and Samuel J. Barnes—and with Jay-Z, Makeda Davis, and Tamy Lestor Smith." - That's four "and"s. I understand that it might be unavoidable but thought it was worth mentioning. Also, I don't believe "Poke & Tone duo Jean-Claude Olivier and Samuel J. Barnes" works well since it does make "Poke & Tone" sound like a location and not necessarily a production outfit. How about "members" instead of "duo"?
  • The Music and lyrics section looks very good to me, but I could imagine another editor taking issue with the abundance of quotes, specifically in the first paragraph.
  • That makes sense. I do have a tendency to over-quote. I have paraphrased one quote, but I will go back and see if anything else for this section or any other sections could be paraphrased. Aoba47 (talk) 16:53, 14 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • "She conveys this by rapping about how she can support herself without needing anything from men, as demonstrated in the lines:" - I feel "as demonstrated in the lines" could be skipped entirely and you could just go for the lyric after a colon.
  • "Clover Hope wrote that unlike Amil's previous songs, which focus on scamming men to survive, "I Got That" expands her style to include boasting" - You could opt for something like "Clover Hope thought that while Amil's previous songs focus on scamming men to survive, "I Got That" expands her style to include boasting" so it is more clear that Wikipedia does not endorse that the previous songs were about scamming. Apologies for nitpicking, but I am more conscious of constructions like these after receiving a critical review about this on my "All-American Bitch" FAC...
  • That is a very good point, particularly when it comes to material like this. It is important to be cautions and sensitive about it, and your suggestion is much better than my original wording anyway. I have incorporated it into the article. Aoba47 (talk) 16:53, 14 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • "For the verse, "What chick you know cock Glocks back?", Desire Thompson for Vibe summarized" - I believe the lyric placement comes a little odd here and it might be possible to better integrate it into the sentence.
  • Agreed. I think that I was just trying to be too fancy in adding variation to sentence structures at the expense of the actual prose quality. I have revised it, but feel free to let me know if further work would be needed to improve upon it. Aoba47 (talk) 16:53, 14 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • "It was made available as a 12-inch single and a CD single, including as a double A-Side with the album's second single "4 da Fam" (2000)." - There are three "single"s in this sentence. How about "It was made available on the 12-inch and CD formats, including as a double A-Side with the album's second single "4 da Fam" (2000)."
  • I am unsure if its inclusion on this album is notable, as AllMusic does not seem to have reviewed it and this is just a listing.
  • Agreed. I think I just threw it in there without really thinking that much about it. This kind of article should not become an indiscriminate list of random compliation albums or other appearances. I have removed the part about it and the citation. Aoba47 (talk) 16:53, 14 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • "but enjoyed the album more when Amil took on more personal issues" - The meaning conveyed might not be too affected without the second "more"
  • I don't think any of the versions of the song mentioned in the Formats and track listings section are the subject of "extensive" commentary in the article, so it would be advisable to remove this section per Wikipedia:WikiProject Songs#Single track listings. The double A-side with "4 da Fam" should have probably been present here, but I am inclined to suggest removing it altogether.
I hope this is helpful. It is nice to see you doing content again, Aoba! Hope your weekend is going well.--NØ 15:44, 14 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
@MaranoFan: Thank you for the kind words and for your help. I greatly appreciate it! Please let me know if there is anything that I can do to further improve the article. I had a lot more repetition in this one than I had realized so thank you for pointing that out to me. I enjoyed working on this, and it helped to ease back into something that is more low-key. I hope you are having a great weekend so far! Aoba47 (talk) 16:53, 14 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Heartfox

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  • "Beyoncé appeared on the song to assess her viability as a solo artist outside of her girl group Destiny's Child, performing the chorus and backing vocals" → maybe "In an effort to assess her viability as a solo artist outside of her girl group Destiny's Child, Beyoncé performs the song's chorus and backing vocals"
  • "July 5, 2000 as the" → July 5, 2000, as the
  • "being a feature on" → featuring on
  • "her vocals, while other critics" → her vocals; other critics
  • "and she was a high-profile member in the label, being promoted as its First Lady. Amil would continue to collaborate " → A high-profile member in the label, being promoted as its First Lady, Amil would continue to collaborate...
  • "— along with" → —along with
  • "Music critics identified Amil as adopting a gold digger persona in her music and for her performances" → I found this a little out of place/abrupt
  • I was trying to add further context to previous sentence in which Clover Hope contrasted this song and its focus on independence with Amil's persona as a scammer. I tried to find ways to make this flow better, but I ultimately removed it as I could not figure out a good way to present this information. That and it seem to come across more and more as original research and that I was reaching to make this connection. Aoba47 (talk) 01:56, 16 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • "[10]DeLuca

Just some prose suggestions. Best, Heartfox (talk) 23:28, 15 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

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