Apple Annie’s Weblog
Ask Me Anything #1
This is the first of hopefully five WeblogPoMo AMA posts I will write during Writing Month. This is my own question, which I hope others find interesting to answer too. If you decide to answer this question, please link to this post!
Question
What is a skill or acquired ability that you use all the time that you think other people take for granted or don't understand? AKA what is your superpower and how did you get it?
Answer
Being alone but not being lonely or bored.
I think there were a few things in my life that led to this superpower. In kindergarten I was separated from the other kids and put in the corner. I sometimes look back on this and get upset, as it seems like punishment. But I also think I sort of understand where my teacher was coming from. As an adult I understand now that I am neurodivergent. I've never been told this or that I am autistic but the signs all point that way. Growing up when I did, girls were not told they were autistic, it wasn't even something that was looked at.
I've always been an overachiever and I'd finish my work before anyone else. I'd then apparently start roaming around the classroom helping other kids with their work. This was deemed disruptive and so I was put into my own place in the classroom where I could be "kept down". Yes, it sounds terrible but I don't think I remember it that way. First grade went by quickly and by second grade there was a program developed for kids across the school district called DEEP (Differentiated Educational Experiences Program).
I think this program evolved into "advanced" placement later in junior high and high school, but initially it was a separate program where we took several hours a week in a couple of classrooms at the high school learning fantastic things. If I were to label the feeling of it now, imagine your class is OMSI and Incredible Universe all the time. That is what it was like. Very math, science, language, art, exploratory, and hands-on focused learning time.
The experiences I gained from DEEP stayed with me and when I became sick I spent a lot of time alone home from school. Both of my parents worked and couldn't stay home with me most of the time. I filled my days somehow, a mix of reading, watching the limited amount of over-the-air television that we received, mostly OPB/PBS (public television) or mysteries, which was also along the same lines of content as DEEP and OMSI, and spending time outdoors in our large yard and adjoining wild spaces.
Though I am not an only child, my sister is older than me and basically moved out when she was 16-years-old. I was eleven at the time. Even when we cohabited she was not very involved with my childhood. I had very close friends that lived on the same rural street for many years, but eventually they moved away and I found myself playing alone a lot, exploring the woods and nearby wetlands abutting our property.
I also rode my bicycle everywhere. My father and I took many cycling trips and I started backpacking with my uncles and cousins. This fostered an even greater appreciation for the outdoors and exploring. When I was too young to go backpacking, during summers I would spend weeks on my grandparents ranch. My grandfather was an orchardist and I spent a lot of time playing alone outdoors and exploring the neighbor's barn and animals, playing with cats and kittens in the hay loft, and riding my bicycle all over.
Now I am sick again. I was never well, but ME/CFS tracks in a relapsing/remitting manner and I just happened to have a period of about 10-15 years where I was nearly well enough to pass as "normal" and not chronically ill. I still had to manage my energy levels and forego activities that I knew would result in PEM (post-extertional malaise) but when I was working or recreating my planned pacing worked well and I could mostly rely on my ability to gauge my energy and rest needs.
My current relapse began around 2018 and has been a slow yet steady decline. I have good days and bad days, but my baseline has never been worse. Starting with the beginning of the pandemic and continuing to today, I spend most of my time alone at home. Yet all the lessons I learned in my life have kept me from solitary despair. Of course I miss excursions and gatherings, but I've also considered myself mostly an introvert since the onset of my illness. I rarely feel bored or without distraction and my desire to accomplish things doesn't waver even if my energy levels do.
Post info
- NaBloPoMo: 2/30
- WeblogPoMoAMA: 1/5
Links in this post:
- Oregon Museum of Science and Industry (OMSI) on Wikipedia
- Incredible Universe on Wikipedia
- I'm okay with me.
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